"Oh my! Don't scare me like that!"


"What's that?"


"Look, I'm a black, cute, furball~"

These are pics I've gotten from one of my random facebook friends =3 They're too cute to resist.

Underground - Nadine Khouri

Come down my friends
My friends come down
Walk this way
But make no sound
Cause we can't afford
To be caught
We live in the darkness
Where it's hot

Come down my friends
My friends come down
Walk this way
But make no sound
Feel the presence
Of the ones before us
In the night feel Eternity
To comfort us of
Our Solitude

Meet me tonight at the underground
Forget the world that surrounds us
Till human voices wake us
And they drown us, drown us

Come down my friends
My friends come down
Walk this way
But make no sound
Cause we can't afford
to be caught
We live in the darkness
Where it's hot

She says "I'm so scared.
Cause if they find out
I am dead.
What about your priorities?"
Don't you know that I have
None?

=X

Egoistical
Careless
Nonchalent
Irresponsible
Short-lived interests
Lazy
Procrastinator
Self-centered
Hurtful
Unworthy
No motivation
Escapist
Insensitive
Willful
Spoiled

I'm sorry for words that I did not mean to hurt u with... although I know that the damage can never be undone...

I don't know what else to say...

I don't know what I really want...

Went home today earlier than usual.. didn't feel like listening to that long-winded lecturer. Too tired =)


And this is what I've been up to ever since I'd settled down in my room after relaxing.


And... this is what I've made by 8pm, after I've eaten dinner. Oh well~

Argh.. but I don't like the clay... it's too fragile even though it's very flexible n great for shaping stuff up. At least it's cheap though.. got it from daiso, and this is how the packaging looks like.


Hmm... and I'd made a zen bunny as the very last masterpiece for today~


Doesn't it look like it's meditating?


Family photo~ Zen guy meditating on turtle xD

Before I forget... these are the materials I've used.


Toothpicks, water and the clay itself... or what's leftover from my works. Hahas.
Doing something like this after a week of school is definitely therapeutic =D

Had a wonderful time yesterday~

Had a fun time watching 'Spirited Away' and relaxing in air-con room yesterday~ After that, I went for bbq at Sentosa in the evening and was thoroughly amused by Arthur co-organising a bbq party when he has zero idea of how to set up a fire or cooking on the pit. LOL. By the time I reached the chalet, the fire wasn't hot enough to cook yet, and the guys spent some time fanning it, only to have the fire almost go out xD

Hahas, but eventually we got the fire going after some time and started cooking =3 Ate lots of teriyaki chicken, cheese hotdogs, otah and chicken fillet. Went into the chalet room and played a few rounds of black jack n had to go off as the monorail only operates till 10pm. After that, went to Vivo to watch the Proposal.

I laughed and LOL-ed in the movie so much despite watching it after midnight. Gosh, Sandra Bullock is so classic xD

Took a cab back and slept at around 4. So tired.

Finally went home today~

Hmm... nearly forgot. When i was staring at the night sky yesterday while waiting for the movie to start, I saw this coloured, floating object in the sky that was moving as though it is drunk. Hmm... I wonder what it is.. UFO? lol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfzhU7m7gHA

Shostakovich's String Quartet No. 8... it's just so full of emotions and powerful...

only for those who learn to appreciate it.

Just like a person, don't you think?

Somehow I feel so alone today... like the school is such an aloof place which doesn't care about what you do. I feel like an ant in the big colony, working 24/7 and doing my part... and perhaps one day I'll get crushed for doing what I'm supposed to do.. Just like an ant. Thinking about it, ants lead such sad life... and I doubt that they realise it themselves because they do not possess a sense of self like humans and other more intelligent animals do..

Work, rest, work, rest... and one fine day while doing your work, you get stepped on by a human =_=

Feeling ant-y.

And.. SHIT! I missed the deadline for sending out my resume to apply for a sub-comm position in investment club. Hais... I want to have something significant in my resume when I graduate!! =X How to do...

I'm gonna grow mushrooms in a corner... how fitting that I'm wearing green today.

And this school week is ending today.. time to reduce that massive pile of homework that accumulates every week.

I'd just got a call from the clinic, asking me to go collect my lab report too.

Busy, busy, busy.

Feeling absolutely horrible now... Just puked my guts out and the apples I ate for breakfast.. Throat is so sore after vomiting... Feeling ill and tried to ask dad for money to go see doc. He equivalently asked me to fuck off. WTF. Still say I'm useless, and that I'm sick because I don't go to bed early. What stupid logic is that? I'm am so pissed and hurt by his fucking words. As if I don't want to sleep early. I would if I hadn't that marketing project to do, and my tutorials and everything else. He doesn't know a fucking thing and yet he assumes he's all so clever and knows about everything. Fuck off.

Going off to school now.

Came across this while surfing the net:

10 ways to cheer up

10. Breathe - Breathing is normally of rational usefulness, but sensible breathing can assist in reducing stress and anxiety. Focusing on your breathing keeps your mindfulness on the current instance and is a common integral part of reflection and meditation, a evident stress reducer. Breathe deeply and leisurely, noticing respective breath you inhale and exhale.

9. Laugh - Exhilaration and laughter is the perfect medicine. Keep proximate a book of jokes or a gratifying comic strip cartoon. When you experience blueness, imbed yourself in the spirit and go for a stomach-aching absolute laugher. Strong laughter improves your immune system and helps you abide life's problems in contemplation.

8. Return to Nature - Go for a trek or stroll in a park, sit down by a spring, or stare at a billboard of your favorite topic or mountain scene. Reflecting on a gorgeous radical scene can raise your spirits.

7. Gratitude - Prepare a brisk list of three to five proceedings in your life for which you are beholden. Reflect on each item and recognize the absolute way it impacts your life.

6. Give of Yourself - Providing an uplifting advice or thoughtfulness to someone else also uplifts you. Call an senile relative or fellow. Tender a few minutes of your space to baby-sit or walk the dog for a busy colleague or neighbor. Helping others, moves your kernel and will benefit your spirits.

5. Exercise - A quick walk or some distinctive form of physical workout will benefit your mood. Weed the garden or trim the house. The physical exertion will help lift your penchant.

4. Daydream - Remember a great holiday or a wondrous family reunion. Reflect on a card or letter someone sent you that was affecting and showed they cared for you.

3. Use a Strength - We all have novel strengths, capabilities at which we are principally gifted. Devote one or more of your strengths in some seasoning activity.

2. Contribute Something You Care About - Contribute to a garden, a cordial house plant, a pet, or your car. When we conduce something we feed a loving, caring attention to it that is a form of bestowal. Tending is not a chore, it's a commendation.

1. Apologize - Guilt and lamentation can hang all round us like a maximum burden, bringing on mild depression sans our awareness of the cause. Bid up a candid apology for things you've broken down or said that hurt others. You'll feel the alleviation of your load of penitence even if you aren't able to personally relegate the apology. Bidding it up to the Nature is adequate.

To you...

http://www.spine-health.com/conditions/depression/depression-and-chronic-back-pain

This is the very last thing i wish to happen to you...

I might not fully understand or emphasize...

But... I don't want you to give up.

I want you to know that even though I may physically be beside you, you are with me.

Through thick and thin, I will never abandon you.

So.. for me... be strong...

Lol.. today took a trans cab and the driver was playing emo chinese songs on the way. Think I've been listening to too much emo songs recently. Hehe.

It's a turning point... and soon there will be another... and another and another...

No matter what happens, together, we can pull through everything life throws at us.

Changes... and a reluctance to move on to a new life.... but I got to deal with it.

So much pent-up emotions in me. I feel like I'm being split into two by them.

Damn.

So fucking unfair.

It's been eons since I last updated.

Frustration has been plaguing me recently, and I have no idea what I'm frustrated about.

There just seems to be this huge weight on my head and it's wearing me out physically and mentally.

I'm tired. I want a break from the world. I want peace and quiet. But peace and quiet presents me another frustration. It's a never-endless vicious cycle.

What do I really want? I have no idea.

My entire world has been whacked out of the universe.

I'm tired of trying to be perfect all the time.

I'm tired of trying. But at the same time, I do not want to give up.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I hate idling around with no aim whatsoever...

I would rather someone not make a promise than making one and breaking it... the feeling of shattered hope is a pain that feels so raw and cutting...

I would rather hide than face a problem, because 95% of the time I can't phrase my words without hurting people when I don't mean to...

I can't stand cold wars, but neither do I like heated ones... but I hate unresolved conflicts more than anything else...

I absolutely cannot stand being accused of something that I did not do.

Came home today to a surprise after a sleepover last night, and now the world seems to be pressing down on me.

NTU: Offered a place in Econs/going for an NIE interview soon
NUS: so far no news yet

I've been given a premonition for one of the toughest choices I've made in my life so far... a decision between money, future and interest. Gosh. Why can't the world function on barter trading? There's nothing I hate more than money issues but yet it is one that surrounds the world.

The super long holidays are slowly counting in anguished ticking of the clock... no more free days where I can do what I want to without much considerations... Back to those mechanical days of learning? Where is the meaning in studying.. and in life? I almost feel like I'm in some sort of crisis even though I do not know what it is.

Perhaps it's the knowledge that I'm going to have to face changes and meet new people that made me feel this way. It's an unavoidable process, I guess... Life goes on, nothing is really set in stone... people change, circumstances change... good old times are lost, new experiences set in... and at the end of the day nothing's really left but countless memories...

Growing up.... growing up... like plants...

Ok, maybe I've been playing too much plant tycoon. =X

I sat and played on a seesaw today, it was so fun and nostalgic~ Whee~ Happy happy.

Sometimes, couples do silly things together, laughing it off.
Sometimes, couples do silly things to each other, and leave a path of tears.
Sometimes, I do silly things.
Sometimes, you do silly things.
If it's inevitable, so be it~
Because at the end of the day, nothing's gonna matter except you.

I love you.

月半小夜曲

仍然倚在失眠夜望天边星宿
仍然听见小提琴如泣似诉再挑逗
为何只剩一弯月留在我的天空
这晚以后音讯隔绝

人如天上的明月是不可拥有
情如曲过只遗留无可挽救再分别
为何只是失望填密我的空虚
这晚夜没有吻别

仍在说永久想不到是借口
从未意会要分手

但我的心每分每刻仍然被她占有
她似这月儿仍然是不开口
提琴独奏独奏着明月半倚深秋
我的牵挂我的渴望 直至以后

The lonely melody of the violin pulls at heartstrings as I think about someone.

Today was the release of A levels' results in school.

Got a shock when I received my result slip because of a scary nightmare I had a couple of days ago.

B for Econs and GP, D for Chem and Bio, E for Maths - this was in my dream. It worried me to no end.

But today, I find it difficult to believe that I scored a C for Maths despite the abysmal answers I'd given, and B for everything else. I'm a lil disappointed for Econs though, since it was the subject I worked the hardest for. I figured that it was probably my case study that screwed me up or smth...

And now, the trouble and headache of deciding what courses and what uni I should apply to.

Thinking, thinking.

How do I know what I really want?

Wiped out.

I've been so sleepy and tired these few days and I wonder why... since I've been having a minimal of 7 hours of sleep. Hmmm.... Oh, and I realised that my memory seems to be deterioriating for some reason. Gosh. STM's getting worse.

I broke my specs! I can't believe that I forgot that I placed them on the floor and accidentally stepped on them T_T The replacement of the lens costs me more than half of my salary. Bleah.

Exam results are coming out soon, and I dread the day when it does... since I know I'll be dragged back into reality - and I want to remain in my fairytale forever... carefree and in bliss like I've never been before.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - that's the movie I'd watched today at Jurong Point with a couple of friends.

My two cents on this movie? Despite the Academy award nominations, I found it lacking, even though I liked the idea behind this story. The visuals were great; the visual transition when Benjamin was old to when he was young was very smoothly done, and the actress for Daisy was wonderful. There was humour in a few scenes that made me laugh, but it wasn't to the extent where it was really terribly funny. The earlier portion of the movie when Benjamin was old was nicely done, especially the part where it was his first time to the brothel and drinking alcohol, as well as his first 'relationship/affair'. After that though... it started going downhill gradually.

The one thing that perturbs me the most is that this movie has a lot of potential to develop its emotional scenes (such as the first time he met Daisy again when she was adult, and when he had to leave her and his child behind so that they could live a normal, unburdened life, or the first time someone he loved/liked left) but it didn't. Although the fact was that the narrative was written in a journal style, I still felt that more emotions could have been put in rather than a monotonous reading. Also, I didn't really like how choppy the scenes were when they changed from the hospital to Benjamin's story, and the little relation from Benjamin to his daughter, Caroline. This reminds me of an old movie, Titanic, where they had used a similar way to play out the emotions and scenes... but compared to Titantic, it remains miles behind. Perhaps it was a lack of strong, moving, background music to facilitate the film or something, but this is one film that I'd probably not watch, but read (if a book was ever available). OH. And the constant bombardment of various to-be sex scenes somewhere in the middle of the movie totally turns me off, given that the rating was around PG, and that number of times it occurred was totally unnecessary?

I have to applaud the cast for their brilliant acting though, and those characters that were particaularly memorable were Captain Mike, Daisy, Queenie, Elizabeth Abbott and of course, Benjamin Button. Unlike Inkheart, this was clearly a movie that was meant to be thought-provoking (or inspiring in a certain sense), but the lack of that tugging in my heart made lessened the impact of those words.

Yesterday was so energy sapping~

Recently, mosquitoes have been surrounding me in my waking hours and sleep hours in my house, so much so that I hallucinate about the scent of the repellent I use sometimes. Gosh. Sometime past the CNY period, they started moving in and I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep in ages. As a result, yesterday I woke up early in the morning at 8.30am (yes, it's early because I usually sleep from 2am to 12pm) feeling very zombified to bathe and get ready for work.

Currently, I'm taking a short term assignment for a tuition agency to teach Science enrichment in a primary school. The short 1.5 hours of teaching the Pri 4 kids there is much more tiring and mentally-draining than anything else I have attempted within the same time frame. Not to mention that I have to wear formal wear (inclusive of heeled boots), so after the whole session and the long walk back to and from the MRT, my feet would be burning and ready to give way anytime soon. And to my surprise/horror, the current class that I'm teaching is the best class in that cohort, but they are still so naughty. Gosh, I wonder how teachers manage to handle their students.

On a brighter note, the class was so much more well-behaved yesterday as compared to last week, so it was quite fun teaching them. Although, by the end of the sessions, I hardly think that I'll be able to complete whatever I'm supposed to teach them.

After work, I headed back home to change out of the stifling clothes to something more casual and went out for dinner and movies. Watched Inkheart yesterday, and I was rather impressive with the visual effects and the plotline was quite good. Sadly though, something seems to be lacking in the movie; perhaps it was the lack of emotions underlying the excellent visuals that it brings down the rating. Hmm... but if you're interested in the fantasy genre, it's one movie that's worth the money.

Was back home at around 11, but I couldn't get to sleep till 2 plus. Gosh.

Base your decisions on thought and perception rather than assumptions. Don't get trapped by assuming what is no longer true.

Be careful not to use your assumptions as excuses for avoiding action. Question and challenge those assumptions, and focus on what you wish to accomplish.

The world changes with every moment. What you once assumed to be true may no longer be true, and may never have actually been true in the first place.

Look at the world in front of you with eyes free of judgment. Consider all the possibilities, especially those that seem particularly outrageous.

Instead of assuming that you can't, feel the confidence that comes from knowing you can. Hiding behind every assumption there are new opportunities ready to be explored.

Let go of the assumptions that may be holding you back. And discover how very much you can do.

-- Ralph Marston

From: http://greatday.com/motivate/090121.html

I had a chat with an old friend of mine via msn today, and I was surprised by the amount of wisdom from this friend of mine. It's been 4 years since she left Singapore for Australia, and I starkly feel that difference between her and Singaporeans of her age. I recalled that she was a person with very strong determination and will, and blessed with the drive to complete what she sets out to do. I feel her assertiveness and passion from those few sentences between us, and I wonder about the world.

Because, you see, the world is an essay and we live in a 'full-stop'. We're so sheltered that it scares me. There's so many restrictions, each greater than the previous, in this tiny dot on the map. Already, I'm feeling the stress of the future, as the release of the results draw ever closer.

She told me to get out of my restricted zone, apply for a visa, and go somewhere further, just so that I could see the numerous rules that dictate my mindset ever since I was brought up.

I said, but there's so many restrictions, like money (for example).

And she told me, "if you dare take a risk, just save up for the flight and leave the rest for getting a job."

Can I?

I wonder, in the future, how am I supposed to feed and care for my parents and support my sister through school? How, can I take a leap of faith and risk things in my life with so much to consider? My actions do not affect me alone, but my family, and my friends. I choose my own path to walk, but I cannot abandon my responsibilities.

So many choices to make, and I'm at the mercy of never-ceasing ticking of time.

She said, "again, it's up to you. just like in writing."

I've realised it's been eons since I last posted about anything. Hoho.

Current status: Unemployed. Single. AND bored.

Gosh. I need some excitement in my life.

Just a meme I've gotten from one of my friends in livejournal. It's about my year in 2008, a tad late though. hehe.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Watched a movie with a friend on my birthday.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No. I don't think so, because studies have shown that New Year resolutions makes people more depressed when they are unable to keep them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. A cousin of mine and my aunt did, but they aren't really close.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Dear old beloved Singapore was my only habitation in this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A mirror that tells me who I am and points out my flaws.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No particular dates were of importance, unless you're talking about me remembering my friends' birthdates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Managed to ride a bicycle with some skill.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My school results. My social interactions.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does old injures count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My pens. They're essential to me.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I dunno...

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
People I knew... I don't think they know why though. Anyway it's all a thing of the past.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food. Enough said.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Prom. But then the 2 days before the actual thing, the excitement died off somehow.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
The truth that you leave, by superpiano. It's on the playlist in this blog.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter? Thinner? I'm not sure.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Studying. Maybe I should have just locked myself in the room to study more.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Slacking off at home.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Had spent it alone in the house, gaming.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No, I fell out of a one-sided love though.

23. How many one-night stands?
Zero.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Ten brothers. It got me hooked on for a while with its humour.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Sorry if it sounds cliché or fake, but I've never hated any one. I will never forgive that one person though.

26. What was the best book you read?
Does fanfiction count?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Drummania at arcades.

28. What did you want and get?
Err...

29. What did you want and not get?
Oh, there's plenty to list.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmm.... Oh, right. Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Although it's on a DVD I rented.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
18 on that day. Went out to eat and walk around town with Astrea and Arthur, and went for a night movie with Wan Mun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More love going around~

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
It's the same as always... until I get enough cash to buy more clothes again.

34. What kept you sane?
My cynical and dark side, taking over when I needed a rest. She's typing this right now, by the way.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Was never interested. Ellen Degeneres is a pretty interesting and funny host on TV though.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama. The Economic Crisis. It was vital to read about them because of GP and Econs in school.

37. Who did you miss?
Some acquaintances. I don't know why either.. maybe it was the fond memories.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
A financial consultant. She was friendly and all, and even sent me a Christmas and Birthday card. A great person, even though it's professional protocol or stuff like that.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Pain. All different sorts of them.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I don't listen to many songs, so I can't quote one. There's a quote that I identify with.

In the days to come, the happiest, most beautiful memories fade. You would only remember the hard times, and you will cry... and cry... and cry... You'll cry not because of the hard times because they made you stronger, but because of the good times that you'll never go through again... and they're lost forever in your memories. And the knowledge of this... is enough to make anyone cry.