I feel like I've changed. I don't like the change.
I've been reading through my older blog posts... and I honestly found myself more distant and less emotional (which may or may not be a good thing at all). Perhaps it has something to do with age, experience or something else... but this change is disturbing.
When was the last time I truly laughed and felt happy? I can't remember.
How do I know if a friend is worth my time and effort? I don't know.
People I once knew are now different. But holding on to the belief that the friendship is worthwhile to maintain and keep is becoming more and more difficult. It takes two hands to clap, afterall.
Growing up is what everyone needs to do... but sometimes... that childish innocence and trust is too precious to be lost.
December 27, 2008
December 15, 2008
Happy birthday to me~ Technically though, it's already passed. Thanks to all who gave me your birthday wishes! =D Received a cute dolphin wind chime from Wan Mun, and a Mika Nakashima's CD from Astrea and Arthur. Hehe. It's been a great day today, but my feet are dying from the long walk around suntec =X. Having blisters soon. Lols.
Oh, and I got this birthday horoscope from ELLE. Apparently you can only get your own birthday horoscope when it's your birthday because it changes everyday. Hmmm..
Sunday, December 14
Happy Birthday, Sagittarius! Smart, quick and a clever communicator, you struggle to balance your need for autonomy with the requirements of being a team player. The more successful and effective your team is, the more desirous you are to strike out on your own and be really tremendous. Your Sagittarian urge for independence, self-expression and artistic honesty isn't always comfortable with the realities and necessary compromises of group endeavors. You enjoy being alone. You also believe that your views are correct and can be extremely articulate and convincing in most arguments. In fact, you're supremely capable of outsmarting yourself by rationalizing negative or unhealthy behaviors into something less odious. You benefit from daily interaction with others. Other people provide a safety net to keep you from focusing too narrowly on one obsession or another. You're intensely bright and insightful, often able to peer deep into another's soul. Once you recognize weakness, you may lose respect or interest in certain people - mainly because you’re seeking Nirvana on earth. Your expectations are high - for yourself, others and the entire world. Your passions are white hot and likely to boil over and get you into a predicament or two. Some of you push desire past the breaking point and end up addicted to substances, people or activities. What you must have are honest, strong-willed friends who challenge you and see through your many disguises. People smart and strong enough to fit this description are rare. If you're fortunate enough to find one, hang on for dear life. What an adaptable, creative person you are! Whether you’re an entertainer, gifted speaker, or prolific writer, you manage to insert playful, humorous references into most communiques. Mischief is always at your fingertips, giving you a unique persona and an endless amount of curiosity. Your worst enemy is boredom, immediately followed by hours and hours of free time. A restless soul like you can get into a heap of trouble under such conditions. Even though you fight hard to escape any sort of entrapment or limitation, you still require basic guidelines, duties, and structure each day. Without this, you're more likely to get your Ph.D. in self-indulgence instead of literature, religion or philosophy. No matter how hilariously funny and outgoing you are at parties or events, you're actually a creature that craves privacy. You love to learn. One of life's most rewarding moments is when you suddenly, unexpectedly understand something that puzzled you for ages. You can almost feel your brain growing when you finally "get it." Although you may be an excellent teacher or speaker, you prefer research and preparation to the actual time spent in front of others. Aside from your desire for sex, you'd probably be happy living alone, close to libraries, museums, mountains and places of learning. Travel is a necessity. Many of you travel because your career or family demands it, but others travel for sheer freedom, adventure, and escape. With or without formal religious training, you are a profoundly spiritual being. You wisely know that life is a continuum, and are aware and respectful of the spirit world. Although you can successfully navigate in a literal, logical world, you also understand that no matter how successful or erudite you are, there is always more to learn. Even if you appear obsessed with specific goals from time to time, you're in tune with the cycle of life and are likely to take pleasure in the process of living. As optimistic and irreverent as you often appear, you possess a dark, self-critical side that can be quite unforgiving - of yourself. When marriages, partnerships or other alliances end, you tend to experience guilt along with freedom, and self-blame smooshed in with relief. No matter how independent and gifted you are, you may never outgrow your compulsion to please and amuse - one of the key things that endears you to others. Your moods can zoom way up and then collapse into dangerous territory. If you're bothered by extreme highs and lows, talk to your doctor. A researcher, perpetual student, seeker of wisdom and cosmic clown, you accidentally break hearts and challenge others' minds throughout your long, illustrious and productive life.
http://www.elle.com/birthday/
Oh, and I got this birthday horoscope from ELLE. Apparently you can only get your own birthday horoscope when it's your birthday because it changes everyday. Hmmm..
Sunday, December 14
Happy Birthday, Sagittarius! Smart, quick and a clever communicator, you struggle to balance your need for autonomy with the requirements of being a team player. The more successful and effective your team is, the more desirous you are to strike out on your own and be really tremendous. Your Sagittarian urge for independence, self-expression and artistic honesty isn't always comfortable with the realities and necessary compromises of group endeavors. You enjoy being alone. You also believe that your views are correct and can be extremely articulate and convincing in most arguments. In fact, you're supremely capable of outsmarting yourself by rationalizing negative or unhealthy behaviors into something less odious. You benefit from daily interaction with others. Other people provide a safety net to keep you from focusing too narrowly on one obsession or another. You're intensely bright and insightful, often able to peer deep into another's soul. Once you recognize weakness, you may lose respect or interest in certain people - mainly because you’re seeking Nirvana on earth. Your expectations are high - for yourself, others and the entire world. Your passions are white hot and likely to boil over and get you into a predicament or two. Some of you push desire past the breaking point and end up addicted to substances, people or activities. What you must have are honest, strong-willed friends who challenge you and see through your many disguises. People smart and strong enough to fit this description are rare. If you're fortunate enough to find one, hang on for dear life. What an adaptable, creative person you are! Whether you’re an entertainer, gifted speaker, or prolific writer, you manage to insert playful, humorous references into most communiques. Mischief is always at your fingertips, giving you a unique persona and an endless amount of curiosity. Your worst enemy is boredom, immediately followed by hours and hours of free time. A restless soul like you can get into a heap of trouble under such conditions. Even though you fight hard to escape any sort of entrapment or limitation, you still require basic guidelines, duties, and structure each day. Without this, you're more likely to get your Ph.D. in self-indulgence instead of literature, religion or philosophy. No matter how hilariously funny and outgoing you are at parties or events, you're actually a creature that craves privacy. You love to learn. One of life's most rewarding moments is when you suddenly, unexpectedly understand something that puzzled you for ages. You can almost feel your brain growing when you finally "get it." Although you may be an excellent teacher or speaker, you prefer research and preparation to the actual time spent in front of others. Aside from your desire for sex, you'd probably be happy living alone, close to libraries, museums, mountains and places of learning. Travel is a necessity. Many of you travel because your career or family demands it, but others travel for sheer freedom, adventure, and escape. With or without formal religious training, you are a profoundly spiritual being. You wisely know that life is a continuum, and are aware and respectful of the spirit world. Although you can successfully navigate in a literal, logical world, you also understand that no matter how successful or erudite you are, there is always more to learn. Even if you appear obsessed with specific goals from time to time, you're in tune with the cycle of life and are likely to take pleasure in the process of living. As optimistic and irreverent as you often appear, you possess a dark, self-critical side that can be quite unforgiving - of yourself. When marriages, partnerships or other alliances end, you tend to experience guilt along with freedom, and self-blame smooshed in with relief. No matter how independent and gifted you are, you may never outgrow your compulsion to please and amuse - one of the key things that endears you to others. Your moods can zoom way up and then collapse into dangerous territory. If you're bothered by extreme highs and lows, talk to your doctor. A researcher, perpetual student, seeker of wisdom and cosmic clown, you accidentally break hearts and challenge others' minds throughout your long, illustrious and productive life.
http://www.elle.com/birthday/
December 10, 2008
December 9, 2008
It's been ages since I last posted up here. Life's been relatively boring without school, and expensive. Prom night was alright, but the programmes could have been more engaging rather than focusing only on those tables near the centre stage. The atmosphere for prom was quite lacking, and the hotel food was so-so, although we had shark fin, steamed sea bass and roasted chicken. Hmm.. The ballroom and service were excellent though.
Went for Arthur's birthday bbq tonight, and I'm currently feeling very wiped out due to the extremely long ride from one end of Singapore to the other. Hahas, it was drizzling, and things were pretty funny. I had 'extra sauce' on my plate a couple of times (bless me if I wake up to stomachaches). Filled myself up with drinks, satay, otah, pineapple rings (dessert), curry, beehoon, fried rice and etc etc. Played dai-dee with Arthur's sec sch friends (who I didn't know at all), went to walk walk with Astrea at the new E!hub and Downtown East shopping area, and went back for food! Saw some of my PAE classmates (from AJC). Played dai-dee with them this time, Jiayi and Willy were like suggesting to us to sit in the toilet (or outside the toilet) to play due to a lack of space. LOL. Had a lot of fun playing with them. Hahas, as lame and funny as ever they are. I missed 20/07!
Can't wait for the 14th of Dec to finally come~ And I don't feel motivated to get a job seeing the state of the economy now..
Interesting stuff that happened today (in summary):
- Me and Astrea petted a very bright and pregnant cat that looked quite young. It was so soft and affectionate.
- We tried out a single branch dessert store called Fondu and it was really value for money. Not to mention it tasted pretty great too. Chocolate stuff were fresh and made to order on the spot.
- The uses of big sticks and branches
- Got scammed by a waitress who said that the 'Golden Strips' had six chicken instead of five (but her service was really good).
- Had a chicken/nachos and cheese moment.
- Saw a foreign worker wearing a polo shirt inside out on the train.
Went for Arthur's birthday bbq tonight, and I'm currently feeling very wiped out due to the extremely long ride from one end of Singapore to the other. Hahas, it was drizzling, and things were pretty funny. I had 'extra sauce' on my plate a couple of times (bless me if I wake up to stomachaches). Filled myself up with drinks, satay, otah, pineapple rings (dessert), curry, beehoon, fried rice and etc etc. Played dai-dee with Arthur's sec sch friends (who I didn't know at all), went to walk walk with Astrea at the new E!hub and Downtown East shopping area, and went back for food! Saw some of my PAE classmates (from AJC). Played dai-dee with them this time, Jiayi and Willy were like suggesting to us to sit in the toilet (or outside the toilet) to play due to a lack of space. LOL. Had a lot of fun playing with them. Hahas, as lame and funny as ever they are. I missed 20/07!
Can't wait for the 14th of Dec to finally come~ And I don't feel motivated to get a job seeing the state of the economy now..
Interesting stuff that happened today (in summary):
- Me and Astrea petted a very bright and pregnant cat that looked quite young. It was so soft and affectionate.
- We tried out a single branch dessert store called Fondu and it was really value for money. Not to mention it tasted pretty great too. Chocolate stuff were fresh and made to order on the spot.
- The uses of big sticks and branches
- Got scammed by a waitress who said that the 'Golden Strips' had six chicken instead of five (but her service was really good).
- Had a chicken/nachos and cheese moment.
- Saw a foreign worker wearing a polo shirt inside out on the train.
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